Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Off to work but a post of the chapter before i head out! and a photo too!

surrealist photographer... don't know their name but love the photo!


“But then who? No one else knows about the house or our phone numbers to call them?”
As Harrison and I were standing there looking at each other wondering how dad had figured out what had happened today to prevent us from getting home at a decent time (it had past 5 o’clock already), dad was starting to laugh a little at us both. Apparently dad had taken some precautionary steps for my first day of school. I had never had very much luck with having a very good first day; every year when we moved no matter where we were my first day was ALWAYS a disaster, no matter how hard I tried to be normal something always went wrong. He seemed a little sheepish as if he was confessing to a murder?
“Well actually Carlie, I thought with your track record on the first day of school in a new town that I would take some action in making sure that the school was prepared with the necessary contact information in case something happened today….. I called after you two left for school this morning and talked to the secretary leaving her the house and my cell phone numbers so that they could call just in case of emergency. When you were still at the school and it was getting to be after 4 o’clock I thought it might be a wise decision to call the school; Harrison wasn’t being very accommodating and since you weren’t answering your phone I was getting worried. Mrs. Aberforth told me everything that happened between you and this Edward fellow.” The entire time dad was talking to Harrison and me he seemed unnecessarily calm; at no point in his ‘speech’ did he seem upset or nervous just worried about how I was doing? He was making me extremely confused!
“But then why are you ‘comforting’ me instead of scolding me? Shouldn’t you be upset that I didn’t handle today with a little more grace instead of acting like a child who hides in the girl’s bathroom?”
“Carlie don’t be ridiculous why would we be upset with you? How could you know that something like this was going to happen to you today? We were more worried about you stepping in front of a moving vehicle or something like that. There is no reason to be upset at you for something as trivial as a boy trying to show off what a hot shot he is. If anything else were to happen to you then maybe I would be a little more upset. But don’t worry about this honey.”
“My god dad I honestly don’t know what to say I’m baffled by this entire day. Haha I’m just glad it’s finally over.”
“Well why don’t you head on inside Bell is waiting for you. By the way I told her what happened and I told her to not act like the little drama queen we all know she is, so if she starts ranting at you just come get me hun.”
“Does mom know yet?”
“Well I was trying to reach her at work but it seems that she had some important meeting in Portland so she took the plane over there to see what the problem is. I highly doubt she will be back in time to talk with you, but don’t worry Carlie I highly doubt your mother will be upset with you about something as silly as this.”
“Alright dad thanks. I’ll see you later I’m going to go see what Jez is up to.”
As Harrison and I walked away I had no clue what I was going to say to Jezebel or mom? I guess it was sort of lucky that mom was out of town for the night but I wasn’t sure exactly how everything was going to happen. More than anything I wanted Edward to hold me right now; it was funny to hear myself thinking this, I shouldn’t have switched from Andrew to Edward so fast but I couldn’t help it. As I headed inside I realized that hadn’t talked to Suzanna in almost a week I needed to call her so badly! I hadn’t talked to her since we moved here a few days ago.
Unfortunately I was also going to have to talk to Andrew and tell him the new, he would find out sooner or later and I didn’t want our relationship to end on a bad note. I wonder what time it was over in Charleston, it was obviously too late to call Suzanna it must be at least 10 o’clock at night there I would have to call her tomorrow. Even though the time had no sway over whether or not Suzanna would be up, I was stalling; I didn’t know what to say to either of them. I didn’t help that Andrew and Suzanna were also twins like Harrison and I, even if I did call Suzanna and not Andrew he would know I called. Suzanna and I could never keep anything from Harrison and Andrew in a million years, we just trusted them way too much.
I’m pretty sure that is where my downfall led with Andrew and Harrison; they had been the best of friends for as long as I could remember but when Andrew had asked me out on a date Harrison changed so quickly and so did their friendship. I always felt a little responsible for ending their friendship but Andrew just kept telling me that they were growing apart long before he and I started dating; I think hearing that hurt me even more to know that their friendship was failing. I wanted them to get along I didn’t want it to be awkward when Andrew came over to the house, but soon enough it had become that way.
Harrison and Andrew would get into fights in front of me and Jezebel and sometimes in front of Suzanna as well. It would get extremely out of control but Andrew never threw a punch and thankfully neither did Harrison, I understood why he was upset about me dating Andrew. He knew Andrew better than anyone and he felt that Andrew wasn’t good enough for me and that we were moving way to fast. As I look back at it now I totally agree with Harrison, our relationship was moving too fast and I couldn’t realize that because of the feelings that I thought I had.
As we walked inside the house, for some reason I couldn’t look at Harrison, he had gotten what he wanted by our moving here and I’m pretty sure that he would do whatever it took to get us up to Portland as well. Harrison never really liked the idea of me dating anyone and I’m pretty sure he was set against me being with Edward just as much as he was set against my being with Andrew. It made me so angry that Harrison thought he could run my love life like this, he had no idea how much it hurt me when he did this to me.
As we were walking I thought to myself about what Harrison would be willing to do just to keep me separated from any guy in any town we lived in, but when I thought about Edward, I was very sure that me moving up to Portland wouldn’t stop him from coming after what he wanted. Apparently what Edward wanted was me, and this confused me because in my mind I didn’t really seem like the kind of girl he would be interested in. I was sure of myself and I honestly didn’t need a guy around to make me happy, it was just a convenience that they were there and they made me all the more happy.
But somehow I could feel that it would all be different with Edward, he made me feel much more complete, like there was part of myself that was missing and I didn’t even know that it was. When he was there my heart felt much better and I felt like I could breathe the air without difficulty again, it was odd I had never felt this way with Andrew ever. I mean he made me happy and I felt wanted but never did I feel like I was really complete with Andrew, I just felt happy. Strange that I would be realizing what my true feelings for Andrew actually were now. I didn’t understand why I was thinking about this it was wrong and I knew it, everything about this situation was wrong. But of course as stubborn as I was I wasn’t going to admit it and not to anyone else either. I had to talk to Suzanna, she would understand, where no one else would my best friend in the world would, I knew that she wouldn’t judge me and I hoped that she would be able to help me out of this situation. I just don’t know what to do anymore this day has filled me with so many new ideas and worries, I fear that everything I do will only hinder me but how can I know unless I try?
What a mess I have created here, I don’t understand how I am going to get myself out of it, everything has changed even I have. I just wish I could go back and start today over, keep him away from me long enough for him to understand that I can’t be his. I just kept thinking about this and before I realized it Harrison and I were in the kitchen, apparently I had been standing there for several minutes just staring at the floor.
“So are you going to tell me what you are thinking about in such depth or should I take a whack at it and guess it’s about that Edward kid?”
“Shut up Harrison, I don’t need you acting like you’re my father. I already have one of those as you can tell. And yes I am thinking about Edward but not the way you think.”
“Well what way are you thinking of him then because from the looks of it you are lookin mighty happy. Although I wouldn’t have the slightest clue why you would be after what he did to you today. My he must have been puttin on the charm for you out in the parking lot I don’t think I have ever seen you taken with someone after they have just embarrassed you in front of the entire school.”
“It’s complicated Harrison but apparently I have to read this letter to fully understand what today was about even the part when I first met him. It was so strange that today should be the day when everything crazy should happen to me.”

No comments:

Post a Comment