But as I sat there pondering everything that had changed my entire being, I realized in that very moment that I wanted nothing more than to be at his side. It almost seemed like Edward had done these drastic things to get my attention, like he knew that I wasn’t fully aware of my feelings for him and that even though I wasn’t aware of them yet, he would do everything in his power to awaken them. It almost seemed like he was trying to resurrect these hidden feelings buried deep inside my body. And for the first time today, I didn’t want Andrew I wanted Edward. I wanted him to hold me like he did in the lunchroom, I wanted that feeling of safety that I had felt in that brief moment that he had caught me off guard in the hallway this morning, I wanted that sense of mystery that he had given me in the parking lot this afternoon. Edward had awakened a side of me that I would never have found if I had stayed in South Carolina. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t upset at my parents’, I was……grateful. In that moment I felt the happiest I had ever felt….well ever, I was happier than the first time I had meet Andrew, kissed Andrew, had him touch me like no one else ever would have and now all I wanted was to feel those things with Edward. He had captured my entire being in that moment and now all I wanted was to be swept away by him.
I know now that when I got home and I explained to everyone what had happened they would be excited not upset. They would feel the change in me and know that whatever happened today, no matter how it happened was for the better. Andrew was now a distant memory from a long time ago, and now the two boys roles in my life were reversed, this morning I had wanted nothing to do with Edward and I wanted to continue my planned out future with Andrew. Now I wanted nothing to do with Andrew and I wanted to start out a new future unmapped, untracked with Edward; I wanted that mystery that Edward had presented me in the parking lot this afternoon. I knew that I didn’t need to read his letter, but to be thorough I would read it.
Even though I was not upset with him anymore I still had questions for him. I wanted to know about him, his family; I wanted to know about Bella and what happened to her. As I sat there thinking about everything and my new feelings I saw in the corner of my eye Harrison smiling, I think he could see the change in my attitude, the change he had been waiting see. It has only been a week since the move but I still new that he was happy with my change, and I think he knew that he had some apologizing to do with Edward.
I turned to look at him and I finally saw for the first time how much Harrison had really changed, he wasn’t my carefree twin brother who played baseball and football anymore. He was my “big” brother; his face and demeanor were much more serious now and somehow it seemed to suite him. It almost seemed I was happy for this change; I wanted to be a new person just like my brother. Now the difficult part was about to happen, I had changed and so had Harrison but I wasn’t so sure that Jezebel would be so easy to change her perspective on this town or this move.
Finally after a grueling half an hour drive to the house, we were finally make the last few feet up the drive to the house. The people who had lived here last had secluded the house to the point of “no return” they obviously didn’t want anyone bothering them which my family believed in above anything else. My mother did a lot of her work at home which was why the enormous house was beneficial to her, she used one of the top floors as her lab and when she wasn’t bunkered down in her office she was up on the top floor continuing her work.
I was extremely sure that mom and dad would be waiting in the living room for us; Jezebel would probably be in my room working on her piece as she waited for me. As we drove around to the end of the house to park the car, I was caught by surprise when I saw dad waiting for us sitting on the hood of my ’66 Impala.
0 I had gone through a lot of trouble to find that car and when I got it, I had spent endless tiring hours out in the garage fixing it up to its former glory; a beautiful scarlet red convertible with a wonderful black leather upholstery seating on the inside, my parents had bought me a new stereo equipped with a cd player for Christmas last year to finish her up. I had been waiting for the right even to show her off and school was not the place I had enough eyes staring at me without adding a car to the mix; I was thinking that Harrison, jezebel and myself could go visit the neighbors and if they had kids I could show it off to them, if that didn’t work I would just show it off to school the next day.
As Harrison and I got out of the car dad walked right over to me and gave me one of the saddest hugs I had ever received. He seemed anxious, worried, upset and stressed all at once and yet he was extremely calm. It was as if by seeing my face everything he was worried about went away, he looked at me with those eyes that your parents’ give you when they know what’s happened. Yet I couldn’t understand how he knew or even why he knew, I knew Harrison well enough to trust him when he said that he didn’t call mom and dad but then how? After he had finished hugging me, he pulled me away from himself and looked at me as if he was registering what I looked like, like this was the first time he had ever seen me.
“Are you okay Carlie? I heard what happened to you today at school…..” Now I knew why Harrison had been in such a hurry to get me home after my conversation why Edward, he didn’t want to be caught in a lie. I was furious at him, my twin brother and he gave me up to mom and dad as if it was second nature to him; I couldn’t believe myself when dad said this!
“Harrison! You promised me you wouldn’t tell mom and dad, you were supposed to leave the explanation up to me not go and tattle to mom and dad you jerk! I honestly can’t believe that you did this to me!”
“Carlie I didn’t tell mom and dad anything, I swear to you that I didn’t. I was with you almost the entire time you would have heard me talking to mom and dad. Not even a conversation with them could escape your hearing even in the condition you were in today. Trust me Carlie the last thing I would do to you today is tell mom and dad, I don’t want to lose your trust.”