Friday, August 6, 2010

more chapter 3

“Hey that is not true, I just think that you can do better than that scum bag. You didn’t know him like I did Carlie, he was a nasty piece of work and no one should be subjected to his crap like I was. That is why we stopped being friends, I told him that his crap had to end or our friendship would. He decided that his “shenanigans” were more important than making our friendship work. So I gave up on him and he decided to go after you, I will never forgive myself for letting him come after you.”
“Harrison what are you talking about? You make it sound like I’m a two year old that doesn’t know the difference between whipped cream and shaving cream! I am old enough to know whether or not someone is good enough for me. Just because your friendship didn’t work doesn’t mean that our relationship was bad! You make all these judgments about other people maybe you should take a look in the mirror and reassess your priorities.”
“Carlie you are my little sister, it is my job to look after you, and you know no matter who the guy is I will never think that they are good enough for you. You deserve a higher class of gentleman, I would have said that Edward would have been a great match for you but after what he pulled today I’m gonna have to put my foot down and say that he is no good for you either.”
“Would you listen to yourself Harrison! Who the heck do you think you are, you can’t control my life, and unless dad says I can’t hang out with Edward you have absolutely no say in who I talk to or date for that matter!”
“Carlie please just think about what you are doing here, do you really want to be with a guy who totally and completely embarrassed you in front of the entire school just to get a laugh with his family?”
“He was not doing that! You have absolutely no clue why he did that so please don’t make accusations without having the proper knowledge Harry! I swear sometimes you infuriate me! For once just mind your own business if I need your help I’ll ask you for it but until that time comes butt out especially if you want me to talk to Felicia for you.”
“Fine Carlie, but this isn’t over I will make sure that nothing happens between the two of you. I don’t care what you say he is no good for you I can just feel it.”
“Harrison I’m not asking your permission nor will I ever when it comes to my love life, and if I find out that you are trying to prevent me from being with someone EVER, I will never speak to you again. You don’t see Jezebel and I freaking out when you go out on a date with someone. So please for the sake of my sanity back away from whatever brotherly instincts you feel you have to enact in my favor. It’s not necessary and if I want your help I will ask for it.” I wanted to get up and storm out of the room, but I looked at him and realized I had truly hurt him, he wasn’t happy at the thought that his sister didn’t need his help. It almost made me feel bad, he was my twin, my other half we weren’t supposed to be fighting like this I loved him way too much to be hurting his feelings in this manner. I got up and walked over to him and gave him a hug, he didn’t struggle or try to push me away even though I was sure he wanted to more than anything else. He was so shocked by what I said, it was one of the first times I had ever been extremely forceful with my brother on any subject, I always gave into him and sometimes it wasn’t for my benefit. For the first time in my life I was standing up for myself, for what I wanted and it was very clear to me that what I wanted was Edward and only Edward. I think that this fact was apparent to him as well; he didn’t want to make me unhappy because I was just as much a part of him as he was a part of me.
“I’m sorry Carlie, I know I can overreact sometimes, I just worry about you sometimes. You know I did actually know about how you always have a bad first day. After we moved to New York and you almost got hit by a bus trying to cross the street on our first day I have always been a little more protective than I ever was before. You’re my sister, my twin and if anything ever happened to you that I could have prevented I would never forgive myself for that. Carlie you are too important to me, to mom and dad, and Jezebel especially. I know sometimes she has a crummy way of showing it, but she needs you more than anyone else, you are such a big part of her life.”
“Harrison please don’t make me feel guilty about how I feel for someone. I can tell that you want to protect me and I understand why….the world is an extremely cruel place and I know that but you have to understand that I won’t let someone take advantage of me. I also don’t think that is what Edward wants either…” he tried to interrupt me when I said his name but I wasn’t going to let him stop me from finishing what I had to say I was putting my foot down.
“No Harrison let me finish, just because you think you know what you’re talking about when it comes to my life doesn’t mean you really do. I want you to know this and I’m telling you this first because I know this will make you happy. I don’t want Andrew anymore, but I want Edward and that is something you are going to have to live with. I know it’s going to be hard for you, probably harder than it will be for mom and dad but I have made my choice and I’m willing to live with that.”
“Carlie do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into at all….what do you know about this guy, practically next to nothing. And as happy as I am to hear that Andrew will no longer be part of your life that doesn’t make it okay that you have just simply replaced him with another guy. What don’t you seem to be grasping about this situation? He is no good for you and when I say this I mean that he is dangerous, he will hurt you and I can’t bear to see you hurt. Why can’t you just listen to me for once! Please I am begging you Carlie,” he moved down to his knees and grabbed my hand pleading with me “I can’t bear this anymore Carlie.”
As he looked up at me I couldn’t bear to see him in so much pain, but at the same time he was asking me to give up something that I really wanted. He was asking me to give up any chance; any hope of being with Edward and this is something I couldn’t stand for. For once in my life I was going to stand up for something and I wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. I loved Harrison with all my heart, as much as any sister would love their brother, but this was enough and I was finally putting my foot down.
“No Harrison. I won’t do this no matter how much you beg. You’re asking me to give up something that could be truly wonderful for me. I’m not going to give that up not without a fight. So just let it be.” I shook free of his hands and walked out of the kitchen. It was a liberating feeling being able to stand up for myself. All I knew was that Harrison was right, Edward was dangerous, but that was a chance I was willing to take. I wanted my chance at happiness and I wasn’t going to give up easily.

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