Monday, March 15, 2010

more of the book

The next two hours went fast; after my class with Harrison I had an elective class which was a study hall. So for the next 55 minutes I sat there in silence. I wanted nothing more than to pull out that envelope and read what Edward had written. What would he say? How interesting I was, that I reminded him of his dead wife and that now he was in love with me? I can honestly say that I wasn’t even in love with him, because in all truthfulness I was still in love with Andrew. I had left South Carolina and the only guy I had ever truly felt anything that wasn’t painful. My parents hated him and wanted me to have nothing to do with him. They thought he was hiding something about himself from me and my parents believed that if you are in a serious relationship like we were that there shouldn’t be secrets between people.
I wanted so badly to just runaway and move back there. It was interesting because my best friend in the world Suzanna was actually Andrew’s sister. She would tell me when to stay away from him when he was mad and when to tell him everything that I felt when he was excited. I would have given my whole self to Andrew if my parents hadn’t moved us and I honestly think that’s why we left. They couldn’t handle our relationship; they knew I wouldn’t leave him any other way than if we moved out of state. It tore my insides out when I had to tell him the news; we laid on his bed for hours talking about what would happen when I left. I promised him that I would wait for him until college; we had made plans to go to University of South Carolina together and I was planning on keeping the dream alive.
And then without even realizing it, class was over and it was time to face the one period I would have gladly skipped. Lunch would be an eventful time for Harrison and me, there was no telling what Edward would do, especially in front of all these people. Would he walk up to our table and ask me to speak with him or would he just sit at a table (probably with his family) and just ignore me hoping that I would have read his letter and it said something about me leaving him be. That is the response I was hoping for, I didn’t want anything to do with him and I was hoping that he wanted the same thing.
Harrison met me at my locker as we put our books away and headed for the lunchroom. Felicia caught up to us and I introduced them, I could tell right away these two would get along perfectly. In no time they were talking like they had known each other for years. As we walked into the lunchroom a bunch of the other students that I had met in my earlier classes started to crowd around Harrison, Felicia and myself as we made our way to the line. As many of them reintroduced themselves to me I started to recognize the faces that went with the names. The first group of people that we were introduced to consisted of mainly girls’ two of them were dark-haired but the other one was a red head, they were accompanied by two guys that seemed totally enticed by the idea of twins that were new to the school, they introduced themselves as Nickie and Reed. The girls’ were Caroline, Serena, and Kelli, they seemed really nice and so we decided to sit with them at lunch. This was apparently Felicia normal group of friends. It was nice to be able to be included instead of having to sit at a table with just myself and Harrison.
As we got our food and headed to the table out of nowhere Edward was in front of me! It scared me so bad that I jumped and lost control of my food tray, I had hot soup and salad all over my shirt and jeans and I could honestly say that I hated Edward so much right now. “Well don’t you just have perfect timing! Every time something happens to me you seem to be either the source of the problem or right there to help fix it.” Everyone was totally shocked at me; wow I guess that must have sounded really ballsy for me to say that to Edward. Things started to get really awkward quickly as I realized I still had food all over me, I started to head towards the bathroom to try and get cleaned up. Harrison handed me his over-shirt which he had wanted to take off all day, as I looked down at my shirt I was glad he gave me his shirt this was definitely not something a little water and soap was going to be able to fix.
As I stalked away I could hear people starting to yell and the next thing I knew someone was grabbing my arms and pulling me around. It was Edward, and all of a sudden he pulled me towards him and started to try and kiss me! As I tried to escape his grasp he started to pull me tighter to himself and I could feel his body pulsing against mine. I hated this feeling he wasn’t Andrew and I didn’t want to be kissing him right now. I wanted to hit him as hard as I could but my body couldn’t shake loose of his hold. Finally he let me go and I knew exactly what I wanted to do, I was going to show him exactly what emotional unavailable meant.
As I regrouped myself he just stood there with his hands lightly grasping my shoulders looking at me with the most interesting gaze, he seemed genuinely happy unlike he did this morning. He was smiling and seemed like he wanted to give this kissing thing another go. As soon as my thoughts were collected I looked up at him and gave him one good hard slap across the face. I walked to the bathroom as fast as I could to try and get away from him and luckily Harrison understood what I was doing and headed straight for Edward before he could come after me. I finally reached the closest bathroom and ran in, luckily no one was in there and I would be able to fall to pieces in this bathroom. But unfortunately Felicia caught up to me and started to try and help me with my shirt. “God it’s no use, I may as well just throw this shirt out.”

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