More of Chapter 3

The second picture is of Florence she is a goddess!
The first picture is of my best friend Sabrina, it's a picture her boyfriend took of her and i didn't like the way the original picture looked so i played with it in photoshop

Chapter 3 continued down below


“My god Harrison did you really have to sneak up on me like that, don’t you think I have had enough scares for one day?”
As he looked at me, he started to laugh a little bit. “Sorry Carlie, I didn’t realize that walking over to the car would scare you so badly, I promise to make my presence more noticeable next time.”
“Well with the day I’ve had, I would think that not scaring me would be one of your highest priorities. Whatever I’m so over today it’s not even funny, please just get me home, I have three people left to deal with and I really want to get that over with as soon as possible.”
As soon as I mentioned Jezebel, mom and dad, Harrison started to rush me into the car. Apparently dad had called and said that if we weren’t home in 10 minutes he was going to come to the school and get us himself. I guess I never realized how impatient dad had become since he left his job. We ran to get into the car as fast as we could, knowing my driving it probably wasn’t the best idea for me to drive, I wasn’t the fastest driver in the world and the drive to the house was definitely longer than 10 minutes. As soon as I was strapped into the car and Harrison had the ignition on he slammed on the gas pedal!
For some reason mom and dad had picked one of the most remote areas for the house that we now lived in, I can’t complain though, the house was one of the most gorgeous things I have ever seen, like something out a Victorian novel. The house was right next to one of the most beautiful rivers in Oregon, which made it a little bit better that we lived here. I had been really into photography so I had wanted to get some shots for my portfolio for college.
The river we lived by was the Willamette River and it was not actually in Westfir. My family did not actually live in the town we lived right outside of it and I was very happy for that. We apparently had some neighbors to the far left of us but the real estate agent said that they kept to themselves and wouldn’t bother us and in her wording it seemed like that meeting was going to be never; I’m sure mom would want to rectify that situation.
The house was a behemoth and funny enough we each had a floor to ourselves; the house had at least 5 levels many of which I did not dare to venture into, I chose the second floor knowing that would be a safe choice. I chose to share my floor with Jezebel; she didn’t want to be secluded to a floor by herself so I said that I wouldn’t mind sharing the floor with her. I loved my little sister more than anything and since the move she had been having some problems with trusting mom and dad again especially since they had ruined her chances in the theatre more than once before. She was just as upset as I was about the move and she had more reason than my pathetic excuse of having to leave behind my boyfriend.
Jezebel was one of the best actresses in our high school especially for being only 15 years old; she had been in every play that our school had ever produced they came to her when we first moved to South Carolina (even though at the time she hadn’t even been in high school yet). This was her year to make one of the biggest impressions on the Charleston School of the Arts theatre program and the play that was being produced apparently was the greatest thing our school had come up with in years (Urinetown). But unfortunately Jezebel had to give up her chances to go the CSA and move here instead, I felt terrible after mom and dad told us the news, it had hit her the hardest of all. Let’s just say I’m not the only whose not mom and dad’s favorite child right now, Harrison is literally the poster child for forgiveness in this family.
My parents’ were trying to soothe her ego when they found out that Portland had an amazing theatre school; the only problem was that Portland was very far away and Jezebel was just as attached to me as I was to Harrison. My mom and dad were willing to renegotiate the living situation and move up to Portland “if” Bell got into the school; like that would be a problem, she had already starred in 3 major films along with a stint on Broadway while we had lived in New York for 3 years. My little sister started acting as soon as she was able to walk and while Harrison and I were at school today, Bell had been home practicing for her audition into the school.
Bell was supposed to start her first day tomorrow; this was an attempt to help her soothe her nerves before the big audition on Friday, but after what happened today I’m pretty sure she will be even more stressed out than before. Jezebel never enjoyed it when I was the center of the attention, but it came with the territory when you were as high up on the acting ladder as Bell. So I would try to hit her with the coming news as lightly as possible, but there were going to be fireworks going off in the house tonight.
Jezebel was always a perfectionist and loved having me help her with anything to do with an audition or even an upcoming show. It made her feel like even though I wasn’t the center of attention that I was still a part of her life; I had even done a couple of the schools plays with her when we first moved to South Carolina.
I promised her this morning that I would get home as soon as I could to help her practice her monologue with her; during my early years of high school I tried out a drama class to see how I liked it. Let’s just say that acting is not a profession I would willingly go into; my teacher said I was brilliant and I didn’t have a problem with stage fright but it just didn’t feel like something I could do, plus I’m sure Jezebel wouldn’t appreciate the competition between us for the stage.
As I sat in the car trying to think about what I was going to say to Jezebel and my parents, Edward kept creeping into my head. His cryptic “quotes” were starting to make me extremely upset; I wished he would just say what he meant instead of trying to confuse me further. But as hard as I tried to be upset at Edward for his deception this afternoon, I couldn’t even get angry to within a tenth of a degree of what I wanted to be.

Chapter 3 : Explanations

Alright everyone here is chapter 3 it's the first page i'll post the next page soon

Chapter Three: Explanations
As I walked over to Edward he had a smile on his face, of course he knew that he had won this round but in the future I wasn’t going to be so forgiving. I just hoped he had a good excuse for making such a public display of his “emotions”, but more than anything else I wanted to get this day over with I had some apologizing to do when I got home. As I moved closer to the car Edward got out of his leaning position, he stepped forward and it seemed like he wanted to greet me? He stretched his hand out to grab my mine but I kept my distance from him folding my arms across my chest to give him a sign I didn’t want his hands anywhere near me.
“Well I can’t say I take offense to this, but here’s a question, why isn’t Harrison standing guard?”
“Well to be very honest that is absolutely none of your business, I really don’t think I need to explain myself to you.”
“That is very true. It just that…”
“Well since I’m the one whose life got thrown extremely out of whack maybe I could ask you a question or two. I mean it only seems fair that you would oblige me in this small favor after what you did in the lunchroom today.”
“Well maybe you should read the letter I wrote you first, that might clear up a lot of the questions that you might have for me and if it doesn’t help clear things up well I will be here tomorrow and waiting for a long list of questions. I’ve had some experience with this type of questioning.” He flashed me to most amazing half smile and all I wanted to do was melt, but I snapped out of it and fast.
“Fine I will go home and read the letter but in the morning I expect to have some answers if they haven’t already been answered. But here is one question your letter might not be able to answer and I want to hear it from you.” He cut me off, I think he could guess what I wanted to ask and wanted to wait till tomorrow for me to get my answers, why was he being so cryptic?
“I promise to answer every single question you have in the morning but I’m not going to lie when I say you smell horrible, you might want to get home and clean up….. Answers will come….in time.” He started to walk away but suddenly he stopped very abruptly turned towards me and gave me that smile that I was starting to get used to. I thought I would melt into a puddle right then and there, I wanted to do nothing more than that in this moment. This time I would let myself melt, it was obvious I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him so I may as well give up.
As soon as I gained my self-will back I turned to the car to get in, now I wanted nothing more than to get home take a hot shower and read the letter that I knew probably had every answer I would ever want to hear from Edward. As I turned around I jumped with fright, it seemed that Harrison had walked over behind me unnoticed, he was getting much better at being sly.

Addicted to this woman!

if you dont know who she is you should go and check her and her band out im addicted to them florence + the machine

Addicted to Love

The lights are on, but you're not home
your mind is not your own
your heart sweats, your body shakes
another kiss is what it takes

You can't sleep, you can't eat
there's no doubt, you're in deep
your throat is tight, you can't breathe
another kiss is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh Yeah
it's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough,
you know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love

you see the signs, but you can't read
you're running at a different speed
your heart beats in double time
another kiss and you'll be mine, a one-track mind

you can't be saved
oblivion is all you crave
if there's some left for you
you don't mind if you do

whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh Yeah
it's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough,
you know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love

Might als well face it, you're addicted to love 5 x

your lights are on, but you're not home
your will is not your own
your heart sweats your teeth grind
another kiss and you'll be mine

whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh Yeah
it's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough,
you know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love

might als well face it, you're addicted to love 8 x

End of chapter 2

“I don’t think it helps that I have tomato soup all over my jeans as well. God screw the nurse can we just go home, I don’t want to be in this school anymore.” So as we said goodbye to Felicia we headed for the front door of the school to the car. Harrison told me he had already taken care of all my classes along with my books. It was a relief to know that Harrison was on top of all this stuff for me, I thanked god everyday for giving me such a wonderful brother.
As we turned the corner and headed for the car, there was a figure leaning against it, as soon as I realized who it was I turned around as fast as I could to try and escape. Apparently Edward wasn’t going to give up without a fight, he must have known that sooner or later I would have to come out of the bathroom and head home. As Harrison noticed the reason for my “escape” he grabbed my arms and stopped me in my tracks. “Look I know I told him to leave you alone and he obviously doesn’t want to get the message, but maybe for the sake of your sanity for today you should just go over there and talk to him. Tell him you aren’t feeling well and that you’ll speak to him tomorrow, I don’t care what you tell him but I need to get you home. I’m not over exaggerating when I say I have been getting messages from dad wondering where we are!”
“FINE!!! I’ll talk to him but if he tries anything funny I won’t stop myself from slapping him again. Just stay close, if he starts to get wild come in and say we have to get home or some kind of excuse I don’t really care what you say actually but please for my sake just help me out on this one.”
“You have my word as your brother that nothing will happen that you don’t want him to do. Now get over there before dad comes to the school and picks us up.”
“That’s fine by me; just get me home to Jezebel. She is probably furious with me. I promised to help her out with her audition piece today!”
“Oh yeah you’re right, well get over there and hurry up. I’ll be right here if you need me. We don’t need Bell coming after you too!”

Long Time but finally more of chapter 2

I sat there and started to cry, wondering why this was happening to me. I didn’t want any of this, Edward, this new school, these new friends I just wished that we had never moved here. Maybe I was having these feelings because I felt like I didn’t deserve a fresh start, like the stake I had made in South Carolina was my last chance at happiness and that was all I was allowed to have. As I fell to the floor, Felicia sat down next to me giving me an awkward one-sided hug trying to reassure me. I could tell our friendship was definitely going to last, I felt so horrible for the way I had been reacting to everything all day. It seemed like I had been sitting there forever and thankfully Felicia was letting me cry, she sat there silently rubbing my back trying to pull out the lettuce that was still stuck in the back of my hair. As Felicia and I sat there, she started to try and reassure me but that was the last thing I wanted at this moment.
“Well I don’t know if you want to know this but you and your brother have definitely lit a fire under this school! It was amazing what just happened back there.” I didn’t know what to say to her, because to be honest I didn’t know if what she was telling me was a compliment or an insult. I just wanted to go home so bad right now; I wanted Harrison to sit there with me giving me one of his big bear hugs. After what seemed like an hour I finally looked at Felicia, I think I was ready to face the school again, she handed me a bunch of toilet paper and I blew my nose and wiped my eyes. I asked Felicia if she would take me to the nurse’s office, I definitely didn’t think I was going to be able to take anymore drama today.
As I got up I realized that I still was covered in tomato soup and Italian dressing from my lunch fiasco earlier. I went over to the sink and wiped my face up and tried to get the rest of the pieces of lettuce out of my hair along with the dressing that had seemed to take up residence there as well. As I took my shirt off and threw it in the trash, Felicia handed me my brother’s oversized shirt and I slipped it over my head. Felicia tossed me an extra hair tie to put my hair up into a ponytail; I wasn’t going to be able to clean my hair without the proper instruments. So I gave myself one last look over turned to Felicia and we headed for the door. As Felicia and I headed for the door we heard Harrison outside talking extremely loudly to someone. It sounded like he had been guarding the entrance to the girl’s bathroom so that no one could get in.
“No you can’t see her, I guess you didn’t get the message this afternoon when she made it VERY clear she didn’t want anything to do with you.”
“Look Harrison I just want to talk to her I won’t don’t anything that will make her uncomfortable you can even stand and chaperone us if you want to. I just need to explain to her why I did what I did in the lunchroom.” So Edward had come back to try and see me, he wanted to talk to me about something and I definitely didn’t want to see him, especially the way I was looking right now. I was too embarrassed to see anyone right now; it was hard for me to even have Felicia standing next to.
“Please Harrison I need to see her. This is extremely important after this I promise never to bother her again, unless of course she wants me to talk to her again after I explain. It is of the utmost importance that I speak to her.”
“If it’s about your stupid letter that you had me give her then I’m not going to budge she hasn’t even read the thing yet. She was too afraid to open up something from you in front of all these people. She is already getting enough people staring at her and now thanks to you she is going to be the talk of the town on her first day of school. So excuse me if I’m not feeling to apathetic to your situation, which you brought upon yourself, right now. Leave my sister alone, this is the last time I will tell you this. If she wants to talk to you that is fine but let her come to you not the other way around!”
“Very well Harrison I will do as you ask, but please tell her that I meant no harm in what I did today. Please let her know that I know what it is to lose everything and attempt to have a fresh start without having any say in it. Goodbye Harrison.” I could hear footsteps going in the opposite direction of the door and I knew that Edward had given up his battle to see me today. Harrison tapped on the door to tell us that it was okay to come out, as I opened the door Harrison seemed overly stressed out for some reason. He has always been the overprotective brother who thought that I could never take care of myself, but this time it was different maybe there was something he wasn’t telling me in his “quest” to keep me safe from Edward.
As I stepped out of the bathroom, I lost control of my body and started to fall to the floor, but luckily Harrison and Felicia were there and caught me. “Thank you guys, I guess I shouldn’t subject myself to so much crap on the first day of school in a new town.” I let out a little giggle to try and lighten up the mood. Harrison took my hand and started to walk me to the nurse’s office, Felicia was on my other side making sure that I didn’t fall again. As we walked to the nurse it finally hit me that there was no one in the hallways, no one to stand there gawking at me wondering why I needed Felicia and my brother to support me. I looked at my brother and started to ask him a question, but he cut me off before the words came out of my mouth. “The school day is over, you wouldn’t believe it but you were in there for over 3 hours. I was really starting to get worried about you, I didn’t know whether or not to call mom and dad and tell them what happened or not.”
“Oh Harrison please tell me you didn’t call them!! That is the last thing I need right now, I honestly feel like I might just pass out from everything that has happened!”
“Wow chill Carlie I didn’t call them, I understood that calling them was going to stress you out even more so I backed away from that idea. Plus I know you to well to call dad, besides dad is going to realize something happened when he notices that you’re kind of a disaster and that you aren’t wearing the same shirt that you had on this morning.” He started to laugh a little bit but cut short when he realized I was glaring at him.

more of the book

The next two hours went fast; after my class with Harrison I had an elective class which was a study hall. So for the next 55 minutes I sat there in silence. I wanted nothing more than to pull out that envelope and read what Edward had written. What would he say? How interesting I was, that I reminded him of his dead wife and that now he was in love with me? I can honestly say that I wasn’t even in love with him, because in all truthfulness I was still in love with Andrew. I had left South Carolina and the only guy I had ever truly felt anything that wasn’t painful. My parents hated him and wanted me to have nothing to do with him. They thought he was hiding something about himself from me and my parents believed that if you are in a serious relationship like we were that there shouldn’t be secrets between people.
I wanted so badly to just runaway and move back there. It was interesting because my best friend in the world Suzanna was actually Andrew’s sister. She would tell me when to stay away from him when he was mad and when to tell him everything that I felt when he was excited. I would have given my whole self to Andrew if my parents hadn’t moved us and I honestly think that’s why we left. They couldn’t handle our relationship; they knew I wouldn’t leave him any other way than if we moved out of state. It tore my insides out when I had to tell him the news; we laid on his bed for hours talking about what would happen when I left. I promised him that I would wait for him until college; we had made plans to go to University of South Carolina together and I was planning on keeping the dream alive.
And then without even realizing it, class was over and it was time to face the one period I would have gladly skipped. Lunch would be an eventful time for Harrison and me, there was no telling what Edward would do, especially in front of all these people. Would he walk up to our table and ask me to speak with him or would he just sit at a table (probably with his family) and just ignore me hoping that I would have read his letter and it said something about me leaving him be. That is the response I was hoping for, I didn’t want anything to do with him and I was hoping that he wanted the same thing.
Harrison met me at my locker as we put our books away and headed for the lunchroom. Felicia caught up to us and I introduced them, I could tell right away these two would get along perfectly. In no time they were talking like they had known each other for years. As we walked into the lunchroom a bunch of the other students that I had met in my earlier classes started to crowd around Harrison, Felicia and myself as we made our way to the line. As many of them reintroduced themselves to me I started to recognize the faces that went with the names. The first group of people that we were introduced to consisted of mainly girls’ two of them were dark-haired but the other one was a red head, they were accompanied by two guys that seemed totally enticed by the idea of twins that were new to the school, they introduced themselves as Nickie and Reed. The girls’ were Caroline, Serena, and Kelli, they seemed really nice and so we decided to sit with them at lunch. This was apparently Felicia normal group of friends. It was nice to be able to be included instead of having to sit at a table with just myself and Harrison.
As we got our food and headed to the table out of nowhere Edward was in front of me! It scared me so bad that I jumped and lost control of my food tray, I had hot soup and salad all over my shirt and jeans and I could honestly say that I hated Edward so much right now. “Well don’t you just have perfect timing! Every time something happens to me you seem to be either the source of the problem or right there to help fix it.” Everyone was totally shocked at me; wow I guess that must have sounded really ballsy for me to say that to Edward. Things started to get really awkward quickly as I realized I still had food all over me, I started to head towards the bathroom to try and get cleaned up. Harrison handed me his over-shirt which he had wanted to take off all day, as I looked down at my shirt I was glad he gave me his shirt this was definitely not something a little water and soap was going to be able to fix.
As I stalked away I could hear people starting to yell and the next thing I knew someone was grabbing my arms and pulling me around. It was Edward, and all of a sudden he pulled me towards him and started to try and kiss me! As I tried to escape his grasp he started to pull me tighter to himself and I could feel his body pulsing against mine. I hated this feeling he wasn’t Andrew and I didn’t want to be kissing him right now. I wanted to hit him as hard as I could but my body couldn’t shake loose of his hold. Finally he let me go and I knew exactly what I wanted to do, I was going to show him exactly what emotional unavailable meant.
As I regrouped myself he just stood there with his hands lightly grasping my shoulders looking at me with the most interesting gaze, he seemed genuinely happy unlike he did this morning. He was smiling and seemed like he wanted to give this kissing thing another go. As soon as my thoughts were collected I looked up at him and gave him one good hard slap across the face. I walked to the bathroom as fast as I could to try and get away from him and luckily Harrison understood what I was doing and headed straight for Edward before he could come after me. I finally reached the closest bathroom and ran in, luckily no one was in there and I would be able to fall to pieces in this bathroom. But unfortunately Felicia caught up to me and started to try and help me with my shirt. “God it’s no use, I may as well just throw this shirt out.”